tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21868982782339765272011-11-27T16:09:41.240-08:00A light-hearted and, yes, often sarcastic daily look at our favorite guilty pleasure, General Hospital. Jason Morgan sold separately.Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.comBlogger311100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-53103697462983126712009-09-17T18:36:00.000-07:002009-09-17T19:50:36.739-07:00

It turns out that the only thing more unrealistic than soap operas is committing to write a daily recap blog about one when you already have a demanding full time job and at least some semblance of a social life. Now that I finally have a decent-looking site, a somewhat effective, zero-budget marketing platform and a rockin' brood of loyal fans The Breakdown needs a break. There are a few special

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-86023002321747828232009-09-16T16:13:00.000-07:002009-09-17T06:46:29.754-07:00

In recent local news there was a man who was caught climbing into outhouses and watching people relieve themselves. So, when you think about it, Jasam's very hot and very public makeout sesh is not THAT embarrassing. What IS embarrassing is that an 11 year old feels they have to explain to you the meaning of the word "chivalry". Lessons learned...1. Everything is relative.2. Sometimes The

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-68781889535411110802009-09-15T19:20:00.000-07:002009-09-16T06:56:05.070-07:00

Defense mechanisms are a funny thing. Some people live in denial (Cough*Kristina*Cough), some people rationalize bad behavior (Um, Rebecca?... What?! I got the short end of the twin stick!), and some people leave their injured children alone in the hospital, seek out inappropriate sexual partners, and accept unwanted proposals in order to avoid the stress of having a hospitalized child,

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-10455334280749844342009-09-14T17:25:00.000-07:002009-09-15T12:26:48.574-07:00

I'm so proud of the person Rebecca has become. I certainly can't say that I would have chosen Edward over Nikolas or Ethan. Hats off to you, Almost Emily. To bad the only way Elizabeth can work up the courage to tell Lucky she no longer feels a spark for him is to start a fire with his brother/your main squeeze-doodle. Yes, I'm fairly certain it is consentual. Yes, you can keep your red dress. No

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-77589214143087158192009-09-11T16:38:00.000-07:002009-09-11T20:05:02.470-07:00

Today we are going to discuss things that are awkward...It's always awkward when a guy proposes to you right after you finished making out with his brother. Trust me. It happened to my friend's brother's ex-girlfriend's hairdresser so I practically have first hand experience. When you tell your almost girlfriend that you are concerned that your ex-girlfriend is kissing some dude... that's awkward

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-3320668084697689812009-09-10T19:08:00.000-07:002009-09-10T21:21:35.735-07:00

So because Steve Burton is seriously rad, won the "most smokin' man" poll, and most importantly thanked me on Twitter for making him the Actor Du Jour yesterday... he is going to be the Actor Du Jour again. For real, he seems like a pretty down to earth dude... check him out on Twitter @1SteveBurton. It looks like Dante's organ has been compromised. Ugh, you are such children. His kidney! Doc

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-74683764404026863832009-09-09T18:51:00.000-07:002009-09-10T05:32:37.413-07:00

You know the expression "crash the party"? Today, Edward plays the guy that doesn't understand expressions and takes them literally. In the process he wreaks havoc at the carnival and kills Andrea. It's like raaaahain on your wedding day, it's a free riiiihide when you already paid, it's getting run ooooooover by a dude because he had a heart attack while driving because you poisoned him, and who

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-42670378273784712732009-09-08T19:35:00.000-07:002009-09-09T05:26:16.944-07:00

Alright peeps. The good news is that I just closed on my first house this afternoon. Eeeee! You may congratulate me at your leisure. The bad news is that I just closed on my first house this afternoon. Eeeeek! This being said the theme for today's recap is "good news, bad news". The good news is Spinelli's clown makeup was removed with kiss slobber. The bad news is that Spinelli's clown makeup

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-48408421593101468282009-09-04T19:13:00.000-07:002009-09-04T21:01:18.558-07:00

It's really hard to make light of an episode that is pretty light on it's own. Drama is my job security people! I'd rather laugh and have fun, but still... what on earth am I supposed to write about! I mean, I can't make fun of Dunk-a-Hunk. A wet t-shirt contest between the hottest men of GH? Can I get that in a calendar or something? I certainly can't make fun of the DiaMax scenes. That was the

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-9475901924647897782009-09-03T20:20:00.000-07:002009-09-04T10:39:31.213-07:00

Anyone who knows me would tell you that growing up I was basically a boy trapped in a girls body. I didn’t do hair, I didn’t play dress up, and don’t even get me started on the color pink. The closest thing I had to dolls were my Ninja Turtle action figures. Unlike Barbie’s that only allow you to change their clothes, with these I could actually change their weapons! My weapon of choice...

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-9764839568977328662009-09-02T18:39:00.000-07:002009-09-03T09:30:55.467-07:00

It's official. I can now add ferris wheels, clowns, and merry-go-rounds to my list of things that give me the willies... and I have no idea how to spell the word willies. Already on that list... spiders, hairless men, and Ray Liotta. Aaaaaanyway, we are mere hours away from the much anticipated start of... (read: suspense) the CARNIVAL! Dun dun dun! They've totally sucked me into those promos.

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-92227563609493042652009-09-01T17:49:00.000-07:002009-09-02T06:49:35.129-07:00

As a follow up to our last parenting lesson... Swimming and Lightning Don't Mix by Liz, Lucky, & Nikolas, today we are going to learn best practices in discipline. In preparation for this lesson please equip yourself with a broom and a rug. Now, everytime your child does something wrong, write it down on a piece of paper, and then sweep it under the rug (don't make them do it, they've been

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-86444591303456366582009-08-31T17:28:00.000-07:002009-09-01T13:27:14.778-07:00

First and foremost, congrats to Julie Berman on winning the Emmy for Outstanding Younger Actress and the masterminds behind the scenes for winning the Emmy for Outstanding Writing. Very well deserved, everyone! Cheers! There comes a time in every post-coma, pubescent man's life when he has to decide between a promising jetski rental career in Mexico or returning home to lead the life of a

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-92059382365429010442009-08-28T18:41:00.000-07:002009-09-01T13:27:48.830-07:00

It's always been my dream to get into a legit fight just to see if I could win. I'm kind of a tomboy. A tomboy that likes soaps. I know. I don't get me either. Anyway, my fight dream now involves Keiffer and Shirtless Moron who somehow managed to obtain a girlfriend and rent a jetski with only a first grade level vocabulary at his disposal. Muy impressivo, Shirtless Moron. Now, before you punch

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-56503736754937756832009-08-27T18:13:00.000-07:002009-09-01T12:10:40.434-07:00

Once when I was a small child I, for some reason yet unknown to me, decided I should kiss a hot frying pan to see if it would burn me. It was the closest I ever came to looking like Angelina Jolie. The pain I felt at that moment can only be matched by the pain I feel when watching Spinelli and Maxie talk about their potential wedding. Maxie, I'm gonna need you to be more of a grown up about this

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-16913967650182720272009-08-26T17:24:00.000-07:002009-08-26T19:26:47.282-07:00

Have you ever wondered what the Mexican version of yourself is like (if you aren't Mexican already)? Who doesn't?! Today Sam learns that her Mexican equivalent goes by the name Sylvia and has a tendency to call into radio stations and reveal to much about her love life. As Jason and Sam listen to "Love on the Border", against their will, they find out that they have a parallel life in Mexico.

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-64885830295092857812009-08-25T16:05:00.000-07:002009-08-25T21:04:10.477-07:00

Okay, I'm back. Sorry about yesterday, duty called. If only real life jobs required as little effort as soap opera character jobs. Today, the Jasam scenes went from really intense to really awkward in about the time it takes Nikolas to rebound chicks. Sam interrupts the "after-cuddle" with an abrupt decision to go fix the car. Hmmm... snuggle with Jason or fix a car? Snuggle? Or, fix? Snuggle?

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-52590389849758496532009-08-24T19:50:00.000-07:002009-08-24T21:34:21.185-07:00

I'm not sure how entertaining today's recap is going to be for a couple reasons... a. I just got back from an all day client meeting/dinner so it is late, I am exhausted, and I'm out of RingDings... b. I can't really think straight right now after watching the final Jasam scene. Yowza! Little sponge-bath from Steve Burton... no big deal. For that, he wins the highly coveted Actor Du Jour

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-85708726036659597382009-08-21T19:06:00.000-07:002009-08-22T18:39:53.432-07:00

Remember when you were a kid playing with the razorblades and broken glass your parents got you for your birthday... and the special times during a thunderstorm when the grown ups would sit around and drink beer while you played in the pool. Those were the best! Well, today GH took us for a nice trip down memory lane as we all watched intently to see if Cam, Jake, and Spencer would survive the

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-3224910176552336942009-08-20T19:02:00.000-07:002009-08-22T18:52:04.637-07:00

I glued my hand to my head once. Only it wasn't glue and it wasn't my head, so I guess it's not really the same thing. Today Lulu comes in (wearing the cutest dress ever!) holding her head like Jason holds his clavicle. Yep, it's the classic "I glued myself to something" storyline. It's one of those things that never gets old, like fart jokes, or Alex Trebec. Scrubs assumes that she has hit her

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-44163625269199189892009-08-19T18:06:00.000-07:002009-08-20T06:52:22.917-07:00

How do you solve a problem like Mariiii... I mean Rooobiiiinn? How do you catch a killer in Port Charles? How do you make your husband play a womaaaaaan? How do you know the killeeeer's strong haaaaaand?!!! If you don't understand anything I just "sang" (I was singing it to myself by the way), I need you to get up immediately and run, don't walk, to the nearest retailer and buy The Sound of Music

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-43289075297110341332009-08-18T18:16:00.000-07:002009-08-19T05:15:11.040-07:00

When I was young and fell off my bike, I can't quite remember all the details, but I'm pretty sure I got a band-aid because touching it with my fingers didn't really do much good. Now, I've never been shot, but I'm pretty sure the same rules apply. Fortunately, Jason lives in a soap opera so he can ignore these rules for days on end and still survive. Plus, Sam made him promise not to die, so we

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-88232662585113313372009-08-17T20:15:00.000-07:002009-08-18T06:50:00.692-07:00

So, you know when you've been shot in the clavicle and have been bleeding for 24 hours straight and then somebody finally finds you and you rush to the hospital so you don't die. Okay. Just making sure.Sam finds Jason at the church lying in a deathbed of debris and since he doesn't have a fever yet the assumption is that he'll be fine. She finds a room for him to recover in, and by recover I mean

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-14171843007846896852009-08-15T21:18:00.000-07:002009-08-17T22:08:21.629-07:00

Let’s give a little refresher just in case this episode confused the poo out of anyone else. When we last saw Jason he was being shot in the clavicle (yes, the “clavicle”) by Jerry while crushed under seemingly immovable debris. We last saw Sam in Hef’s suite handcuffed to a chair when Pedro Ginormous walks in with clear evil intent. ‘Member? Good. So today Jason is exactly where we left him. He

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-18359882677365463132009-08-13T19:14:00.000-07:002009-08-13T21:37:57.641-07:00

No, Jason and Sam scenes today? Seems like a good time to focus our attention elsewhere. We’ll just let Jason bleed out for another 24 hours and I’m sure Sam has enjoyed the last two days in handcuffs with the Mexican Tony Soprano. Instead, we focus today on the ticking time bomb that is Nicholas and Rebecca’s relationship. The day starts off beautifully, sun shining, birds chirping, plus

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-16590217136959697502009-08-12T17:25:00.000-07:002009-08-13T06:23:09.446-07:00

Where I live there is a fugitive show that airs once a week to inform the public of criminals on the loose in the area. About a year ago one of the criminals saw himself on the show and called the network wondering why he saw his mugshot on TV. The network made up a story about how he won something, but needed him to disclose his location so he could collect. Of course, he agreed, otherwise this

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-80602932639949063602009-08-11T20:06:00.000-07:002009-08-11T21:55:43.857-07:00

This may or may not disturb you, but I was sitting here wondering if there was another term I could use for GH fans or GH'ers just to mix things up. I decided that I would approach this naming task as if I was dealing with a couple (i.e. Brangelina, Jasam, Spixie etc...). Are you starting to see where this is going? You guessed it folks, after dedicating several seconds of my very best thinking

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-87585641251908398852009-08-10T20:14:00.000-07:002009-08-11T05:27:19.792-07:00

Uh...(shoulder tap)... Um... Maxie?... Hi. WHAT ARE YOU DOING! Are you such a child that you are going to accept an unwanted proposal for the sake of being rebellious?! Ugh, I've been less irritated by those insufferable children that play the repeat game. Ugh, I've been less irritated by those insufferable children that play the repeat game. You finally got your out! Your one chance to decline

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-58835569381496172142009-08-09T18:14:00.000-07:002009-08-09T19:37:12.626-07:00

I know it's hard to remember what happened before the accident and the Corinthoes kid's field trip to Mexico, but it wasn't to long ago when Spinelli made his singing debut which won him his first night of mutual passion with Maximista. Since then, we've been living in soap opera agony as we've watched her avoid her little Spin-muffin and interfere with his plans to obtain Mac's blessing. Of

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-37770201670605470222009-08-06T22:55:00.000-07:002009-08-06T22:59:45.267-07:00

The theme of today's episode reads like the most disturbing personal ad the world has ever seen. “Seeking 16yr. old, fugitive, honor student.” Well, Kristina may be an honor student, but today we are reminded that book smarts and street smarts are two very different things. While she and Michael are still on the lamb she decides to send a postcard to her little sister. Thankfully Michael stops

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2186898278233976527.post-89535992900781005632009-08-05T15:44:00.000-07:002009-08-06T12:29:51.013-07:00

I've always been a strong proponent of counting blessings and after watching this episode I was reminded of one blessing that I have taken for granted way to long. In 25 years and 10 months of childhood I have never witnessed my parents... gettin' jiggy. Though I do get a certain amount of satisfaction out of watching awkward moments that I don’t have to live through myself, I do feel for our

Jackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08513528645490242436noreply@blogger.com8